i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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