I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
