Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
