i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
