I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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