no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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