i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
