your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
do nipples grow back?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
