He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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