Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
