Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
