Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
