He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
