you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
