Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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