Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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