On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
