When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
