Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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