i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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