My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
