come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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