btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
