why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
