He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
