lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
