Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
