Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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