Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
