it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
