I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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