Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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