Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
