can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
