Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
