I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
