C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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