Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
try to milk me bitch
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