Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
