Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
40s are totally the cure
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
