i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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