It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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