I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
