I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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