still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
