it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
