Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
