Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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