Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
