escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
