I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
